How Modern Technology is Changing the Gay Dating World


Before the creation of the internet, gay men often resorted to a visual code to identify each other. The consequences of inadvertently approaching a straight man could be catastrophic, so in the 70s and 80s, it was vital for gay men to be able to identify each other with confidence.

While some visual clues are still sometimes used today, the evolution of technology has meant that it’s largely unnecessary. If you want to hook up with a gay man or search online for the perfect husband, there are a wide range of gay dating apps you can use.

We delve into the history of dating technology and look at how gay online dating has evolved.

The Origins of Online Gay Dating

When the internet first became available, there was only limited functionality. Smartphones and dating apps hadn’t been conceived, and it would be some time until they were launched.

However, even these early days of the internet provided a way for gay singletons to reach out to the community: chat rooms.

The many different chat rooms available offered opportunities to join the ones you were most interested in. As well as offering general chat rooms, there were also themed spaces so you could filter your preferences to meet like-minded individuals.

Providers such as AOL also allowed the chat rooms to be organized by location. This meant it was easy for those seeking gay hookups to find a local person for adult fun. Aside from notice boards and newspaper ads, this was the first time that gay people had been able to connect with others in their community.

Chat rooms were a huge hit, and for many years, they remained the only option for finding other gay men online. No one realized that chat rooms were only just the beginning and that other, more sophisticated options would shortly become available.

The Use of Modern Technology

As the world shifted from dial-up to broadband, internet technology started to expand, and new options became possible. In 2009, Apple announced their second-generation iPhone would be able to accept third-party apps, and that’s when the market really opened up.

In the following ten years, a plethora of dating apps were developed, including those with geo-location. This meant for the first time, gay men were able to search for and find each other in real-time, making quick hookups a possibility.


This technology has completely revolutionized the world of dating for gay men. Freed from the dangers of disclosing their sexuality, gay men have been able to be explicit for the first time about what they want and what they enjoy.

There are dating apps for every sexual preference, as well as all types of relationships. Some dating platforms are best suited to one-night dates, while others are geared toward men who are looking for a serious relationship. With millions of users, gay men have a safe, reliable way to find their local community and create their own personal network of friends and potential partners.

Modern technology continues to evolve, taking online dating to the next level time after time. Audio dating and video calling have been some of the most recent features, helping to keep singletons safer as well as offering enhanced communication.

Tips for Online Gay Dating

There are plenty of articles about online dating that apply equally to straight and gay singles. And it’s worth reading this advice before you take the plunge, as online dating can be overwhelming when you first start.

However, as a gay man, there are other considerations that are more specific. These include:

Clear Communication

Clear communication is a piece of advice that would apply to anyone on a dating site, but it’s even more relevant for a gay man. Discussing whether you’re a top or a bottom and whether you want penetration or oral may feel a bit clinical, but it’s important to get these details sorted out right away. If you’re both tops and want penetration, one of you is going to have to compromise for the date to work!

Understand the App

In the world of gay dating, there is a very clear line between hookups and romantic dates. If a hot guy is only looking for temporary fun, he’s going to run out of patience if there aren’t immediate conversations about hooking up. Likewise, if your potential match wants to be wooed, sending over an intimate pic is likely to send him running for the hills. Some apps are very clearly aimed at hookups, while others focus on building relationships. Make sure you’re on the right type of app for your preferences.

Understand What Your Profile Communicates

Your dating profile will communicate a lot more than what you say, as there will be lots of hidden clues. Whether other men notice these consciously or subconsciously, these clues will still influence your success on the dating site.


For example, if you’re searching for a serious relationship, try to use clothed photos. You may well have great pecs and a washboard stomach, but putting the emphasis on your body suggests a hookup, nothing more.

Consider Your Safety

Safety should be of prime importance when you’re meeting other guys, so make sure you consider your safety in advance. Have some ground rules in place, and don’t be tempted to break them even if he is really hot! For example, you should decide whether you’d feel safer in your own home or in his or whether you want to meet in public first. Another option is video calling first; this isn’t a foolproof method of detection but might allow you to get a sense of whether you want to go ahead and meet.

The Modern Way to Meet

It’s mind-blowing to think about how technology has developed so quickly in a relatively short space of time. The internet and dating apps have made it safer for gay men to find a partner, as well as offering opportunities that just wouldn’t have been possible before.

Dating apps are now a mainstream way to meet, and within the gay community, they’re perfectly placed to allow you to get specific about the type of partner you want.

Amanda is the proud owner and head cook of her very own restaurant. She loves nothing more than experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen, and her food is always a big hit with customers. Amanda takes great pride in her work, and she always puts her heart into everything she does. She's a hard-working woman who has made it on her own, and she's an inspiration to all who know her.